Don't forget your Lawyer!

It's true, mediators are not lawyers. We don't give you advice, we don't tell you what to do, we don't work for just one party - we are there as facilitators working for both of you.

So don't forget to bring your lawyer into the process. Some couples have lawyers prior to starting mediation, some are happy to receive the recommendation of their mediators. Typically the latter works well as lawyers and mediators do need to work in conjunction with each other.

Though not required during the actual mediation, lawyers do play a very important role, and you will need one in order to finalize your divorce.

Situations may arise during mediation where you may be told by your mediator to get the advice of your lawyer. This is not uncommon. Mediators, by design, are impartial third parties, therefore not allowed to give legal advice to either party (even if they are in fact lawyers, as many mediators are). If you are negotiating a particularly sticky topic, it is always good to get the advice of someone who's job it is to have your back!

The lawyer really comes to play when the memorandum of understanding (MOU) is completed in mediation and then sent to each parties' lawyers to look it over, and turn it into a legally binding document ready for the court.

Even though you are choosing a non-adversarial process, your "case" still goes before a judge. It is known as an uncontested divorce because you did all the 'contesting' in mediation. Once the judge has signed off it becomes a public document and you're all done.