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  • Midtown Mediation

Fighting in front of the kids again?

Lately the majority of my coaching clients are asking me for help with communication - claiming they are always fighting in front of the kids.

So what advice have I been giving my clients? Go ahead and argue in front of the kids!! ...just make sure you also resolve your disagreement in front of them.

To be clear, I am by no means encouraging anyone to yell, get violent or aggressive, or speak disrespectfully to each other - that will, without a doubt, cause excessive stress hormones in your children and right now, they are already experiencing the incredibly high levels of stress and anxiety due to the global pandemic - and let's be honest, it is not great for you either! However, children watching their parents model respectful debate, disagreement and even arguing is going to serve them so well in their future.

Conflict is never going away, so how do you want your kids to deal with it when it comes up in their life? You want them to set boundaries, to demand respect, to learn to disagree while still still getting along, to see the other person's perspective and rationale.

Agreeing and getting along is easy, disagreeing and getting alone takes practice.

And once the disagreement is over, you want them to be able to apologize, have accountability for their part in the argument and to maintain an open mind that they may not always be right or win a fight, but that doesn't mean they have to lay down just because someone else disagrees with them. There are so many lessons in conflict, help them navigate it by modelling thoughtful and respectful conflict resolution.

And if you need help better communicating or resolving disputes, consider some coaching sessions to develop those skills in yourself.

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