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  • Midtown Mediation

Move Slow to Go Fast

Mediators love to brag about how efficient the process can be when comparing it to an adversarial system.

And they are not wrong to do so! Folks can spend years (and tens of thousands) battling it out in court only to hand over the power of decision making to a judge.

However, do not be fooled into thinking just because the process can be quick it means it is easy.

Breaking it down into digestible bites allows for clients to focus on just one decision at a time instead of feeling overwhelmed by the copious amounts of decisions they have to make before signing on the dotted line.

To give you a sense of what that looks like, here is a quick breakdown of the majority of topics covered in the parenting plan (ie not getting into support or division of assets):


0. Definitions

1. Parenting Guidelines and Principles

2. Background & Demographic Information

3. Freedom from the other

4. Decision-Making Responsibility

5. Parenting-time Residence Schedule

6. Holiday Residence Schedule

7. General Terms re: Residency

8. Right of First Refusal

9. Day-to-day Decision Making 10. Important Decisions Made Jointly

11. Emergency Decisions

12. Communication: with each other / with children / with others

13. Education

14. Grandparents

15. Change of Residence

16. Mobility

17. Passports and Documents

18. Children’s’ Itinerary

19. Emergency Contact

20. Notarized Travel Authorization

21. Name Change

22. Religion

23. Death of One Party

24. Death of Both Parties

25. New Partner and/or Relationship

It can be overwhelming to say the least!!

However, by discussing each item one at a time, mediation gives folks the ability to move through the decision making at their own pace. Sometimes we skip ones and circle back another day, or re-order the topics depending on how sticky some issues are.

There are instances where one party simply needs more time to percolate on a topic and we leave it to the end, or other times where different sections are used as bargaining chips. As long as both parties are aware and open to the "game" of tit-for-tat negotiations, there is nothing wrong with it! With mediation, you are in charge of the outcome, we simply guide you through the process - keeping a level playing field for all involved.

As with anything, you just have to start! Anticipation of something is usually worse than the actuality of it.

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