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  • Midtown Mediation

Quiet Quitting: A Professional Term Now for the Personal (..and I just don't get it..)

We are seeing more and more "quiet quitting" in the post-pandemic landscape. Folks do not want to return to the office (no matter how many snacks they are being bribed with!). They no longer wish to battle the awful commute, or miss dinner with their kids every night, or get stuck at the water cooler with the office gossip who wants to spoil every latest episode that you’ve not had the time to watch because you’re stuck in traffic!

So they start phoning it in.

Well, that term (and that attitude) is now more commonly being seen at home. Instead of having difficult conversations or putting in the work to make a change in their relationship, they are now simply doing the bare minimum to get by…hoping their partner will be the one to pull the trigger instead.

Bare with me…I can see merits for this in the workplace; get fired and you could at least walk away with a severance package, or maybe use the opportunity as a bargaining chip to try and score a huge bonus or pay increase, or negotiating some perks that may make all the other crappy stuff worthwhile.

But at home?

Silently backing out of a relationship so that the other person calls it off? Can this really be a thing. The ghosting phenomena continues well into relationships? Maybe I’m old school but that doesn’t seem right!

Is it passive aggressive? Is it lazy? Maybe cowardly? Whichever way you slice the bread, handing over the control and decision making in your relationship to your partner seems odd to me!

Perhaps that is because as a mediator, my job is to help people communicate and ensure that the terms of their divorce are kept IN their control, not in the hands of a judge.

Perhaps it is because I have control issues or like to walk away from things knowing I gave it my all and then respectfully declined engagement when I’d had enough.

Whatever the rationale, I have yet to find a reason for quiet quitting that makes any sense to me.

Let me know what you think?



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