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  • Midtown Mediation

Using "I" Statements

One of the best way I have found to successfully communicate when emotions are running high is to use 'I' Statements. These are also commonly known as Impact Statements, as they focus on how the other persons actions have impacted you.

Take these two examples:

"I don't like being yelled at"

"You are always yelling at me"


"You always make me the bad cop in front of the kids"

"I struggle to have fun with the kids when I am always made to be the bad cop"

You can see in these two examples that one is very accusatory and the other takes the ownership of the issue.

By leading with "I", you are simply stating your feelings, and allowing your (ex) partner to get a better understanding of how their actions impact you. By doing so, the defensiveness on the other party is lessened and the understanding and empathy heightened.

Try this out in your next disagreement and see how much more successful it is to finding a resolution!

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